Foster families are an often overlooked when the media shares human interest stories about adoption, birth family reunification or a family needing support during a difficult time. However, without foster families, over 400,000 American children (ANCFARS, 2011) and 67,000 Canadian children (Mulcahy and Trocme, 2010) would be living in less than ideal situations while a permanent plan is made for their well-being.
Why Should Foster Parents Be Celebrated?
Sometimes we hear foster parents being described as saints or having a special calling to help children, but the reality is that these folks have made a very selfless decision to help a child in need, often to the sacrifice of other aspects of their lives. As such, there can be high turnover of foster parents and potential burn out, making it necessary to continually recruit foster parents to meet the needs of children in the community.
By celebrating foster parents, the public perspective of their role in a child’s life changes from one of that’s a hard job I wouldn’t want to inspiring people to think maybe I could provide support for a family in need. In shifting this mindset, foster parents feel better supported by their community, which minimizes burn out and their stories may even inspire others to pursue this adventure.
How Can the Community Honour Foster Parents?
National efforts in Canada and the U.S. have raised some awareness of foster parenting by designating a month or week in celebration. For Americans, special events take place throughout May and in Canada, a week in October is focused on the role of foster families in the lives of children.
Organizations such as the Canadian Foster Family Association and National Foster Care Month have really helped to bring this unique responsibility to the limelight, but much more can be done at the community level to celebrate people who open their homes to children in need, such as:
- Using the media to highlight stories of long serving foster parents and those whose impact has been above and beyond expectations
- Asking local organizations to offer a free service or gift certificate to be distributed to foster parents
- Organizing a social gathering for foster parents to network with other families and provide activities for kids
- Offering free tickets to a special family-oriented attraction such as the movie theatre or indoor fun park
- Sending a thank you letter to a foster parent in the community indicating that the impact they are making on the life of a child is not going unnoticed
- Creating a garden at a local children’s park honouring foster parents in the community
- Encouraging the school and teacher to send home a positive note home with a foster child outlining how the foster parents have helped the child succeed academically
Some communities are very active in providing media coverage during the designated foster care awareness month or week, but stories about children reconnecting with foster families over the holidays or a special memory foster kids have about their foster care experience would also warm many hearts.
How Can Adoptive and Birth Families Show Appreciation to Foster Families?
For some birth and adoptive families, it may be natural for them to continue a long-term relationship with a foster family as they may have created a meaningful connection that centres around the child. In other cases, the foster family is remembered as part of the child’s story, but any semblance of relationship ended when the child moved out. For birth and adoptive parents who want to honour the role foster parents had in their present day family, simple gestures can go a long way to saying “thank you”, including:
- Sending cards and letters via the local child welfare agency or directly to the foster family at holiday time
- Recognizing the foster parents on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day with a simple e-mail greeting
- Sending updates of the children, including a photo
- Recognizing national foster parent month or week by spreading positive information and stories through social networking sites such as facebook and twitter
- Offering to write about the impact foster care had on a child’s life for an agency publication or local newspaper
Recognizing and celebrating foster parents not only honours the foster families who had a role in raising a child, it also honours the child who benefitted from the relationship. Being a foster parent is truly a testament to the adage, “It takes an entire village to raise a child” and the importance of their role should always be remembered.
Sources:
- Mulcahy, Megan and Nico Trocme, Children and Youth in Out-of-Home-Care in Canada, Centres for Excellence for Children’s Well-Being, Health Canada, 2010.
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Website, AFCARS data, U.S. Children's Bureau, Administration for Children, Youth and Families (accessed December 20, 2011).
Angela Krueger - As an adoptive parent and PRIDE adoption trainer, Angela uses her insights to help others on their adoption journey.
