In an ideal adoption situation, there would be positive communication between both birth and adoptive families from the early stages of the adoption process for the sake of the child at the centre of the relationship. Real life circumstances, however, often make it impossible for openness to happen between the families at the beginning of the child’s adoption but as time passes and circumstances change, perspectives about potential contact may shift.
When the time seems right, adoptive parents may want to help their child find the lost pieces of their child’s background by seeking answers to their questions about life before their adoption. In the spirit of open communication and the right for adoptees to know their history, birth family searches may begin well before the child reaches the age of majority. To do this, the adoptive parents need to be supportive about the process and willing to see the lifelong benefit for their child.
Signing-up with an Adoption Registry
Traditionally, when an adoptee reaches the age of 18 he could put his name on a registry with non-identifying information and receive non-identifying information of his birth parents, if they also chose to sign-up with the adoption registry. Recently, Ontario has taken it a step further and created the Adoption Disclosure Registry which provides identifying information to birth parents and adoptees at the age of eighteen upon request, unless a veto has been placed on the file to stop the information from being shared.
To sign-up with the Ontario registry when the adopted child turns eighteen, applicants need to provide as much information as possible pertaining to the following:
- Adoptee’s name prior and after adoption
- Adoptee’s address prior and after adoption
- Birth parents place of birth
- Birth parents age and birth date
- Birth registration number
- Adoptee’s birth date
On the form, applicants indicate who they would like to have contact with including birth grandparents and biological siblings. Adoptees under eighteen can also apply for non-identifying information if their adoptive parents sign the consent form that is provided with the application package.
What Adoptive Parents Can Do to Look for Birth Family
At any point adoptive parents can apply to receive non-identifying information of their child’s birth parents. There are different processes to follow depending on whether child was adopted through a private agency or a Children’s Aid Society. This application process is very similar to adoptees applying for the adoption registry. Other avenues adoptive parents can explore are:
- Inquiring with the adoption agency or CAS that facilitated the adoption
- Adoptive parent support groups
- Social worker or adoption lawyer
- Internet sites such as Facebook, birth parent sites or genealogy forums
Even if the adopted child is too young or unaware of the adoptive parent’s effort in searching, it should always be clear that the information obtained is for the sake of the child and details will be shared when developmentally appropriate.
Supporting an Adoptee Throughout Birth Family Search
If an adoption is not open from the very beginning, there may be reasons for the relationship to be limited or closed. Adoptive parents need to proceed with caution and always keep their child’s best interests at heart. While searching it is imperative for both the adopted child and adoptive parents to receive support and also counseling to handle the joys and disappointments that arise. As searching for a child’s birth family affects many people’s lives, it is also vital to have realistic expectations and establish boundaries for contact.
Helping an adopted child search for birth family before they reach adulthood not only assists with identity formation, it can also create a stronger connection with the adoptive parents. Furthermore, the adoptee benefits from spending most of his life aware of his birth history, rather than searching for it.
Source:
Ontario.ca Website. (accessed February 11, 2011).
Angela Krueger - As an adoptive parent and PRIDE adoption trainer, Angela uses her insights to help others on their adoption journey.
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