For today’s adoptive families who adopt internationally, it is very common to plan a homeland tour to the child’s country of origin. Despite the fact that international adoptions are typically not open adoptions, adoptive families travel to birth countries to seek connections with the child’s birth heritage and possibly birth family.
To make the most of this very important experience, great care is needed in making plans for the trip, especially in preparing both adoptees and adoptive parents.
Planning an International Adoption Homeland Tour
Most adoptive families will visit the child’s birth country as part of group which helps with the co-ordination of the trip and simplifies the process. Group arrangements also provide opportunities for new friendships with other adoptive families.
When choosing an agency to travel with, adoptive families need to consider the purpose for their visit. If the focus of the trip is purely cultural, then adoptive families can expect to do a lot of sightseeing and excursions. If an adoptee is interested in seeing her orphanage and the place in which she was born, then adoptive families need to find an agency that can facilitate that tour.
Preparing Adoptees for a Visit to Their Birth Country
As homeland tour groups typically have children ages six to 16 in them, the nature of the preparation needed will depend on the child’s intellectual and emotional stage. For younger kids, adoptive parents can focus on the basics of what the child can expect during the trip such as food, washroom facilities, weather, modes of transportation and length of travel time.
For older adoptees, it will be necessary to consider more of their input into the planning, and respect their wishes regarding birth history. Regardless of the child’s age adoptive parents should:
- Consider counseling for their child if there are identity or adoption issues that have arisen.
- Talk about expectations and fears of the trip.
- Clarify what will happen on the trip and reassure the child everyone will return home once the trip is over.
It is key that the adoptive family openly talks about adoption and views this trip as an adventure. It will be easier to feel excited about the trip, if the adoptee feels positive about her adoption status.
Preparing Adoptive Parents for a Homeland Visit
Despite homeland visits being for the adopted child, adoptive parents need to be prepared for their own emotions and issues. If parents can sense there are issues for themselves before the trip, such as unresolved infertility, they need to process those feelings so they can be completely focused on the needs of the child. To do this, they can:
- Seek counseling for themselves.
- Talk to other adoptive families who have done a homeland trip.
- Find an outlet for feelings and thoughts such as a journal.
The most important thing adoptive parents can do during the visit to their child’s birth place is to support the child in self-discovery and to document the process through photography, videoing and keeping notes.
General Preparations for a Homeland Trip
Much of what an adoptive family can do in preparing for a birth country visit is similar to what anyone would do before visiting a different country. It is important to:
- Discuss the impact of culture shock and jet lag.
- Learn the language well enough to communicate with guides and people in the service industry.
- Review travel brochures and videos to familiarize everyone with what will be seen.
- Prepare a journal to take on the trip to record memories, information and thoughts throughout the visit.
If the goal of the trip is to answer questions about the child’s birth family or even to have a reunion, it is important to do as much research as possible beforehand to avoid disappointment. Also, have a plan in place on how to support each other if negative or contradictory information is received about the child’s birth history.
By preparing everyone in the adoptive family for what to expect during a visit to an adoptee’s birth country, adoptive parents are setting the stage for a memorable and impactful trip of a lifetime.
Sources:
MacLeod, Jean & Sheena Macrae. Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections. New Jersey: EMK Press, 2006-2007.
The Barker Foundation Website. "Homeland Tours: The Issues and the Challenges" (accessed September 6, 2010).
Angela Krueger - As an adoptive parent and PRIDE adoption trainer, Angela uses her insights to help others on their adoption journey.
